The Ballad of Cerge and Gloria

"I did not become President to be popular..." A defensive President GMA announced on her last SONA.

It would take a lot of courage for a President to admit that she is not very well liked among her people. Which makes me wonder if she could even sleep at night knowing how majority of the Filipinos dislike her. I pity her sometimes because I wouldn't want to live my life dodging insults and criticisms for breakfast or wake up in the morning to a barrage of hate messages and negative controversies knocking on my doorstep.

Of course, if I am to be the leader of the land, I would expect to be offered prayers and love when I am ill and not to be made fun of; and as a testament to my greatness, I would want monuments to be built in my honor when I'm gone, not effigies while I'm sill alive. Since I, too, am a mother to the nation, I would expect my flag draped casket to be driven in a flatbed truck strewn with flowers and not on a garbage truck as some of my detractors would say; I would long for the accolades even while celebrating at a glitzy New York restaurant with my most loyal of subjects.

But as much as I feel sorry for the President, I pity her Press Secretary more, who of course, faces the firing squad for her. If the venomous comments of the people are bullets, Mr. Remonde would have died long ago. If he did, it would have been in the line of duty as he would have done it to protect his boss.

It is, after all, his job. So we cannot blame the poor guy if he denies vehemently the accusations being hurled at the President. But we can always laugh at him later whenever he takes it all back and admits to the booboo. When news of the President's botched boob job first broke out, her press secretary dismissed the reports as nonsense, saying "Mrs Arroyo was not your regular sexy actress fixated with such cosmetic surgery" only to backtrack on his statement only a few hours later. Or we can spew expletives at him whenever he tries to find another lame excuse to defend her actions.

It's tough being an unpopular President, but it's even harder to work for one. Damage control is never easy especially if the damage is already way beyond your control. So huge is the flak Malacanang has been getting lately, poor Mr. Press Secretary has to always be on top of it, "shielding" Malacañang, defending the actions and transactions of his boss, to the derision and sometimes amusement of the entire nation. But as they say in the movies, "trabaho lang, walang personalan.."

Perhaps, Secretary Remonde can take it from John Lennon's cue when he described the challenges of being married to Yoko Ono: "Christ, you know it ain't easy, you know how hard it can be. The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me."

Secretary Remonde is the joker to PGMA's queen. He struggles to balance all excuses to defend his boss amid shouts of: "Off with his head!" by the people. Mr. Remonde has his hands full now as another wave of protests continue to rain down on Malacañang--the controversial National Artist selection, the dinner celebration at the ritzy Le Cirque Restaurant in New York City and now the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism (PCIJ) report on the alleged manipulation of the SALN (Statement of Assets and Liabilities and Networth) of the President and the First Gentleman. We can only wish him luck, though.

After all, one cannot expect the President of the Philippines on a trip to New York to just eat at a hot dog stand.